They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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