I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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