I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
