1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
