I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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