Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
