operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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