One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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