By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
