also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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