Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
