sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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