so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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