i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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