I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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