What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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