Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
