champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
