I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
