Kiss
Puke
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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