Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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