is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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