I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
