they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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