i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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