bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
