He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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