did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
