Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
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All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
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Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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