Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
