Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
