There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
