Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
