Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
