you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
