Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
