Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
