No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
