They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
