O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
