Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
