Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
