so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
