community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Sext me about skeletons
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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