Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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