remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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