who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
