Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize