I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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