Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
