Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
