My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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