You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I understand Curling. That high.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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