The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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