Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Where is the hickey?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We talked him into tasing himself.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
