I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
